At some point in our lives, almost every one of us will have our heart broken. Imagine how different things would be if we paid more attention to this unique emotional pain. Psychologist Guy Winch reveals how recovering from heartbreak starts with a determination to fight our instincts to idealize and search for answers that aren’t there — and offers a toolkit on how to, eventually, move on. Our hearts might sometimes be broken, but we don’t have to break with them.

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42 Comments

  • bsbheendjdjejejsjdjrjejjsjgrhejsjjfjrjejsjcjrjsjc
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Your heart isnt broken
    It was given back to you

  • Yaz Daniels
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Hardest part is walking away

  • Carla Houston
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

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  • Anna white
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I miss him so much I wish he wouldn’t have left

  • Lauren Pettis
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    A broken heart is the most painful thing. 🙁

  • Lamzamlal Vaiphei
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Just got dumped by gf last night.. I really love her.. I even thought of doing bad things to myself.. I really can't understand what happened to us.. It really hurts…please pray for me…

  • I am Gibby
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    i cant stop loving him no matter what he does, if im with him im unhappy if im wihout him im unhappy

  • Major Loser
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I don’t wanna face that it’s over and I don’t wanna let go but I know I have to. It hurts so bad but I have to let go.

  • Tarek Islam
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Update;From January 20 to July 20
    I had heartbroken in January 2020, i have suffered a lot till march .
    But in july I'm absolutely fine and already i have forgotten who and what was my bad past .
    I just let it go and get over .
    And most importantly time is the only medicine to heal you . So whatever is happening to you just be patient and understand the nature that it's happening with all .
    Just help yourself and watch comedy series and movies it will bitter help you , but time will fixed everything.
    God help you all

  • knowlight knowright
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    When I discovered he was a textbook narcissist I ran!!!! It makes it a little easier when you know you dodged bullets from a mad man!!!

  • Priyanka Sharma
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Really helpful. Being cheated and still the one who is trying to make amends and other one is enjoying like he never cared. Long distances created due to COVID-19 really breaking many relationships. Either one is cheating by finding the happiness in someone else who he/she was missing due to distance.💔

  • Fizza Naeem Shaikh
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Beautiful ❤️

  • Alien Nated
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Makin that list now!

  • Shalam Roa
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Thanks for the lovely advice ❤️

  • Kelly S
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Damn that was helpful !!!

  • Kent Goodall
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Cut hers out

  • Lucas Capretz
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    This video slaps. It has great points and pushes the recovery process further

  • youssif rock
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Hope can be incredibly destructive when your heart is broken

  • Sappy
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I wish I never had met her, she snatched a massive chunk of me and now I'm stuck with the damage whilst they both seem to be happy. I will get over this I promise. Someone remind me years ahead to come back to this video and maybe reply to you, please. Ill update on how things are going. As of right now, i dont know for sure, but defo not good 🙂

  • Ron Legend
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I've watched this again and all I can say is that he doesn't understand what true love actually is.
    So many people out there think they are in love with someone when it's just passing infatuation that makes you feel good. That's not love.
    Love is sacrifice. You give all of yourself to that person without a second thought. You never demand or ask anything of them and they should never feel the need to ask anything of you because you will already know what they need.
    When you genuinely love somebody that deeply and it all goes wrong. They will always be there, deep, deep, deep inside of your whole being.
    You can never fix that.
    You can only try to bury the pain and do your best to live with it as best you can.

    Sorry for the essay but sometimes you just gotta put it out there 😢

  • lì lì
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I don't even want to stop crying 😢.. I just want all the pain out💔😓

  • s s
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    She was never yours to begin with yet it felt like you have lost her a 100 times~

  • Carlos Mendoza
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    A heartbreak just feels like you're drowning. Everyday feels endless then you get the one day where you feel okay you get a grasp of air, but then you just drown for a couple days after that. Does anyone have a floatie? 🙁

  • Regular Sherlock
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    The saddest part is getting over the idea that you aren’t loved anymore. Its so easy to let someone’s intense emotional love for you define yourself. Self-love is immensely difficult for many people – they need that kind of a connection to get them up and ready in the morning to face the day. When someone says I don’t love you anymore, its like they’ve taken your motivation to live away, and you have to deal with that at the same time as you deal with the crushing pain. Its a dangerous point in all honesty, so the best thing you can do is make sure you don’t have any feelings that aren’t expressed- either to your friends or to your family or a professional, you CAN indeed only put so much time into thinking about something and although it doesn’t feel that way to begin with its true.

  • iva naletilić
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Thanks Ted 🙂 Ur a good friend

  • Leonard Anderson
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I blame Disney!

  • Moni
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Writing that list felt good.

  • Fnaf Noob :D
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I actually started crying when I saw this because my best friend/crush yesterday told me he had a girlfriend and all I said was “cool” when really I was crying since he told me through text he really didn’t know I was in pain.I told him I didn’t like him anymore even though I still did and still do I’m in the biggest pain right now..And I’m just trying to get over him🥺

  • Yen Nguyen
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    It really works, the phone part.

    Me and my bestie have quite many jokes about her exes :))) Thinking of them in a bad way does make people feel better

  • Vocalpro International
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    This guy did good!

  • Sep200
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    My gf just broke up with me after an 8 month relationship and I'm absolutely devastated. It's the worst feeling to suddenly hear from the person you love and thought you'll spent the rest of your life with that she doesn't see a future in our relationship anymore.

  • Oz Kir
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    How about taking over 5 , 6 years for only couple months of a relationship, while getting over 15 years of relationship in few months ..It is not the length of the relationship, it is the intensity and the connection, real or not ,it is good enough for your mind if it sees it as a real connection to. The fight between the mind and the heart is exhausting, excruciating, numbing, it will change you ,may even damage you for good.

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  • Jiang Nguyễn
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I like this talk. It makes me realize a few things.
    In his talk and the comment section, the stories are mostly from people who got the breakup from their partner though.
    I was the one who initiated the breakup.
    And despite that, i am devastated. I think he might never understand how upset and helpless i was in our relationship and also can’t know how i feel about this breakup. I broke up with him when i was still in love. And these feelings are still here.
    I had to do it after a lot of struggles and trying and even embracing the loving words he said but still feeling that my love was one way.
    It is not always about idealizing my partner that makes it hard to move on, but even when I remember all the pros and cons, and the cons are more than the pros, i’m still stuck with the question “why”: “Why i put in so much love and effort for our relationship but you still don’t care that much for me?”

  • Wally The Rapper
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    If he talked slower…….

  • BweezyM
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I see people talking about “the hardest part” well for me the hardest part is knowing there was still work to be done in the relationship but that person just decides to give up on you. You haven’t exhausted all options, and determined that it just isn’t working, but the other person just won’t put in the necessary work to keep the relationship going. It’s left me hurting so much & confused on why it was so hard to love me when all I asked was for the basic necessities of love. Most of us all deserve better, but we just wish that person was the better. Heartbreak fucking sucks

  • techu suzanne
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    It's been 3 years! I still can't get over this ! I tried everything… He was my best friend….my everything…Left me just like that… There has not even been a day which he hasn't crossed my mind..! I feel like I'm becoming something else…. Everything i used to like, doesn't interest me anymore! He was my first and my first heartbreak! And I don't know how to deal with it! I feel like I'm slowly dying! What should I do?! Help me please

  • Ankita Thakur
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I just had a breakup and trust me it's is killing me inside…. It feels like I am dying but I know I have to move on… I never thought it is so painful 😭

  • Shagun Tyagi
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    This is by far the best video i have seen on youtube explaining every thing felt during that period

  • David Drabble
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    Very good and insightful speaker 😁

  • Lukas Demko
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    why dis in my recommended

  • Luis David
    Posted July 27, 2020 5:04 pm

    I just can’t sleep at night anymore

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